I feel like I'm in dance class right now
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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