Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
