Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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