And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
