if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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