Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
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Even my vagina gasped.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
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That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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