we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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