How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
