loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
