either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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