So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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