Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize