I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize