Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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