We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
