bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
