We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
After tacos, we're chasing women.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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