I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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