just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i think my mom watched the whole time
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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