Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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