At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
