over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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