Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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