so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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