Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize