I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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