i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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