I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
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