there was a trapeze. enough said
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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