Got a toothbrush?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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