You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Say something about gay babies.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
