"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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