You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
