I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
