I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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