she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
