I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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