im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
