areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
