Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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