no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
