take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
