Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just found a bag of teeth...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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