By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
