ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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