ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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