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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.

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• (707): View more from California

  Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.

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