If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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