I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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