a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it