Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.

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(530): View more from California

I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.

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(619): View more from California

Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.

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(303): View more from Colorado

No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.

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