Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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