Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
