I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Drake has all the answers
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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