he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
