a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize