I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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