Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize